Noticing Friendship

I've had such an interesting week. John was gone away to a cool professional development event, so I took a few days off work so that I could stay close to the dogs and cats. And I really needed some time away from my office.

During the week I became increasingly aware of how much I value friends. I know a lot of people, but I have always been very dichotomous about how I spend my social energy. I'm perfectly happy being alone for 6 or 8 hours (I suspect this comes from sitting at the piano in university practice rooms for hours on end). And then I'm hungry for social time--I like places that have a lot of energy and a lot of people. I like to see everyone and listen in on conversations and chatting it up with anyone. I'm good with that for 3 or 4 hours, and then I'm ready to go back and be alone. Very either/or.

But this week, because of John's absence and my time away from my office,  my pattern was disrupted. Actually, it was liberated. I just suddenly had no real schedule.

Things I Did

1. Had a great spin class with my running buddy, Jeff
2. Had a few beers at Hopcat--great local place
3. Had several decent runs, including a 6+ mile trek around Reeds Lake at 4:45 AM
4. Treated myself to breakfast and or lunch out too many times (including having a Caprese salad and fries on my cheat day)
5. Caught up with Eric while enjoying Rowster coffee at Kurt's great coffee place
6. Drove myself to Saugatuck where I had said salad and fries, walked the pier, took photos, and finally headed to Oval Beach

I could go on...but you get the idea...I just invested in events rather than being at the mercy of an hourly calendar. And I invested in people.

What I Learned

1. I have really great friends. Sure, I do have some lifelong friends (or at least decades long), but I also have good energy from others in my day-to-day life. Sometime deep friendships are simply discovered by noticing and striking up a conversation with someone you see every day--by asking someone to go for a run.
2. People you've never met face-to-face can be a catalyst for epiphanies. My friend Mark shares his life with me and through that I see the whole world differently--with much greater brightness and hope and humanity.
3. I know very few people who aren't deeply interesting. Taking the time to get to know people...to listen to them and learn about their lives is surely a component of enlightenment.
4. I know more about myself whenever I get out of the way and listen to the passions, ideas, and challenges of others. 
5. We are all much more alike than not. As Rumi said,

"I, you, he, she, we

In the garden of mystic lovers,

these are not true distinctions." 

 

Noticing the benefits of noticing brings us all in touch with one another. That is a fundamental component to appreciating our interconnectedness. When we see others--when we allow time and space for others to freely share their ideas and experiences with us--we then see a little more of ourselves.