Sitting

Sitting
And this moment is my path

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Friendship as Art



As in all the arts, there is complexity in friendship. Artistotle wrote,

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”

We sometimes meet those individuals who, if and as we let them get to know us and we them, seem to be variations on the theme that we use to identify ourselves. I have several close friends...you know who you are, so I won’t call each of you out. These are friends with whom I can completely relax; speak freely, imagine anything, and in whom I seek wisdom and comfort. Not (necessarily) the comfort that is need-based (although sometimes that is the case). But more often, that comfort me when the world seems chaotic or peevish.

These are moments when I don’t need the comfort that comes from good advice, but rather the comfort that arises when one feels deeply understood. As if my best friends have had exactly the same feeling that I’ve had or am having. The mystical treasured moment that announces, “You’re not alone.”

Discovering friends is an art more than a skill. Beyond the mechanics of making friends, perhaps like we did as children, the art of friendship requires
spontaneity,
the ability to be vulnerable,
trust,
and a willingness to take new journeys--through ones’ mind and heart and through new roads, trails, and pathways.

Through friendships--deep friendships (which I find more and more don’t need years to develop--just attention and sincerity)--I’ve discovered characteristics of myself previously uncovered.


I believe in the permeability of being--that we are all connected in some way--through sharing air, the Earth, the sunshine, the reflective light of moonfall...by the sound waves made by our speech, by music, the crash of the ocean, the barking of a dog; the cries of babies. Events, sounds, and experiences that we have on our own, but rarely by ourselves.

We are woven together.

When we discover the particular knots in this net of social connectivity, we can linger, feeling the complexity of the various threads that hold us together in deep friendships. Friendships that go beyond description.