Sitting

Sitting
And this moment is my path

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Comments on Steve Hagen's "Buddhism Is Not What You Think" Chapters 3 & 4

Allowing ourselves to volley in an imagined world of this or that results in an imagined existence, at least half of the time. Hagen writes, "...we imagine mental objects that we call good and evil...they're phantoms we've created in response to other phantoms."

I often find myself setting goals, an expression of dichotomous, imagined living. I weigh this, but should weigh that; I run at this pace, but should run at that pace; I've accomplished this, but should accomplish that...the list continues.

Hagen encourages us to embrace our existence in Totality. That our only reality is the present, a place of wholeness where "that" is illusion. More directly, he addresses our illusions of good and evil. That there is a preferred way of being, a goodness that has a genuineness that is more authentic of better than evil or bad ways of being. He reminds us that "our effort is to live fully and compassionately in this world of muddy water without churning it up all the more." And so, the Precepts begin to make more sense: to not speak unless one can improve on the silence.

The seduction into dichotomous thinking, dichotomous living extends to science and religion. The former being fact-based and the latter being passion-driven. But in this moment, our beliefs, from wherever they originate are our realities.

Jack Kornfield encourages us to let go of our reality. That only through our release of these "corruptions of insight" can we truly engage in the path. That clinging to beliefs, whatever their source slows our journey, holds us back from being in this moment.

My resolution for 2010 is to not make any.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays!



Today I am grateful for reconnecting with so many friends from years and moments past, especially Phillip, Gaylen, Tim, Tony, Kristina, and Susan. I am grateful to have a fantastic job, wonderful colleagues who bring me wisdom and laughter, and help me think in ways that are creative and better than I would on my own. I am happy for the silliness of my day-to-day life, especially Saturdays at Rose's, these monthly races that I often share with great friends, the ongoing pet dramas, Arthur's steadfastness. I am appreciative for the volunteer work that I get to do at Gilda's Club and for the newly discovered Sangha. I smile that I have email friendships with TV anchors and celebrities. And mostly, I am happy to have a great partner.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Notes on Steve Hagen's "Buddhism: It's Not What You Think," Chapters 1-3

Earlier this year I read Hagen's book on my own. Now, after learning about a local Sangha, I'm enjoying the opportunity to read the book as part of a discussion group. Revisiting the text and having the chance to entertain different interpretations of passages with others brings a special joy.

Throughout my life I have kept some type of journal. During some periods my journals have been quite active, and other times I just jot notes here and then. Recently I've taken to a traditional paper and pen journal in which I keep notes that often find their way to this blog. Just prior to my notes on Hagen's book, I left a sentence in my paper journal: One should never hesitate to be kind.


From December 19, after reading Hagen.
To search for truth we must encounter paradox and confusion. That idea has so many implications, especially on my past work as a therapist and my current work as a college administrator. I so often work with colleagues who want safety to accompany all of our decision-making. As if the novelty of change should come with guarantees of safety, security, and comfort. How can we grow without discomfort? How will we allow ourselves to change if we wait only for those chances that are free from risk?

We engage interpretation to flee from reality--we impose our own lenses on that which is in plain sight. That idea has given me pause to consider how often I look directly at something--a situation, a decision, a meeting conversation--then begin to make up stories about what is being represented. There is a social difficulty in merely taking things as they are...to see the present as the only reality. Which often leads me to cling to the future to avoid the present.

I have a colleague, whose energy I enjoy very much. She has terrific spirit! But, she also has a proclivity to think and speak in "what ifs." Or in, "if this happens, then that will happen." Most of these imaginings are fraught with increasingly complex difficulties. If one thing happens, it will lead to misery, which will lead to more misery, and so on. I prompt her to take notice of this way of thinking and planning, but I also find myself there, too. I wonder how often my risk-aversive way of doing things muddles the path. And, how often I sacrifice the present (which is often my spontaneous intuition) for the unbridled mind. Jack Kornfield said, "the mind has no dignity; it will think anything."

The precepts are not commandments, but descriptions of the moral stance to be taken once we recognize our path. The precepts can allow us to enjoy each moment of the present. When I begin to evaluate my progress with the precepts, I've left them.

Am I acting out of wisdom and compassion? The most present thing we can say is, "I don't know."

There is growth when I throw off the comfortable blanket of interpretation.