Running Beyond Running

May, 11 2007,  Fifth Third River Bank 25K

Running is no more about legs and lungs than playing the piano is about fingers and mind.

I've been struggling with my running for the past few months, actually almost a year. And yet, I trod on--waiting for a reasonable level of comfort and self-confidence to return. Those are within reach, but not quite here yet. But I have learned a few things--most of them yesterday and today, thanks to Jeff.

1. I'm not alone. The more I talk about these changes and challenges with a few close friends the more I hear some version of the same story. It seems that running "easy" is episodic (I've never ran easy, for the record--I just haven't had as much struggle as I've been having).
2. Age has little to do with running easy. Most of the runners I admire are older than I. They just look stronger and stronger. That's a great source of inspiration and motivation.
3. Yesterday I had a lousy run. And it was terrific. A planned 7 mile run turned into a few miles of jogging, then lots of walking. That walking opened the door to a great epiphany. I run with a good friend, and occasionally a few others who join for our traditional 1.5 mile warm up and a longer run that always follows.
4. This epiphany. Yesterday, running in the very early morning darkness and humidity, I knew I couldn't finish the run. But Jeff was fine with that. We took several walk breaks that eventually turned into a long walk. Determined to at least fulfill our set time for running, we continued chatting and walking. And noticing. Noticing the sunrise, the gravel (we'd ran that gravel before but were amazed at how treacherous it was in the light and when we paid attention). We noticed our stories. Our usual snippets of heavy breathing conversation turned into actual communication. And we became more present--liberated from watching the time, looking for potholes, avoiding skunks--we faced up to the reality that on some days the pavement and gravel move easily under our feet, but on others, we just have to be two middle-aged guys making an effort. And noticing a great sunrise.
5. With renewed commitment we forged out again this morning. First finishing our 1.5 mile warm up with "the Tracys and Kelly," and then continuing for another 8 miles. The run was easier--not because my legs or lungs were suddenly stronger, but because I understood that the run wasn't just about legs and lungs.

Running affords us the opportunity to be in a series of moments with tremendous energy. Running with a friend or group is a special experience that weaves our individual experiences together into one more vivid and robust experience. It allows us to be pulled forward by the stronger runner and to slow a bit for those who are gaining strength.

Just as playing the piano truly has very little to do with knowing or playing the right notes (those are given and serve as the most basic foundation for actually "playing" the piano), running is more about paying attention to the experience of living. And because of that, we should allow our pain to be overtaken by the friendship of our fellow runners and beauty of unexpected sunrises.

"Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It's all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager." 

Susan Sontag