Sitting

Sitting
And this moment is my path

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

January 28, 1986

It took Russell a few minutes before he got to the part about Jimmy hitting the guy in the head with a brick and killing him.

We had only known each other for a few weeks, but had seemingly grown close enough that my apartment was first on the list for hiding from the law.

Hiding from the truth.

Russell and Jimmy shared a shower while I opened beers.

Wrapped in towels they told their tale.

Bored, borrowing (without permission) a friend's car to go into the city to dance.

In the cool, winter, Atlanta rain the scuffle escalated. The guy punched Russell. Jimmy stepped in. He was punched and fell to the ground. He reached out to support himself so that he could rise up.

His hand brushed the brick.

One slug into the guy's head. Lots of blood.

Silence.

The drugs were still safe in the car.

They drove through the rain to my apartment.

We sat quietly until the sun rose.

The Challenger exploded a few hours later bringing the death toll to eight.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Say "Hi"

I believe in supernatural forces and beings. Gods, goddesses, spirits...


Unexpected friendships are supernatural forces.

Today, my friend Mark asked me to write something about all the political chaos in the world.

Two weeks ago, another friend, also named Mark, discussed with me our love, friendship, and serendipitous camaraderie. During that conversation I asked him to name two or three things he is great at. Caught off guard, we then had an important conversation about the question, and that I had asked it. He asked the same to me. I hope that those of you who are reading this ask yourselves and others.

One thing I'm good at is being a lover. Not in the simplistic term, but in the broad, humanitarian way. I love people deeply.

Politics are complex.
This is what I suggest we do.

Reach out to those you love. Grasp their hands. Build a support net that brings us close together. I'm not kidding. Tonight or tomorrow be sure to let others know that you care. You care about them, about our daily walks in life, about our harmony as we move forward in life. No walls, no discrimination, no violence. Just respect.

Drive with kindness. Buy someone a Klondike bar. Just be kind.

It starts with those things.

I met Mark, the first guy in this story, because he was going through a difficult time. I just sent a note on FB. And now we are soul mates. 
I met the other guy, also named Mark, because we were shaving next to one another at the gym, and I said, "Hey,"I'm Ric."

That's how profound friendships start. Say, "Hi."

That's how easy compassion is. But it is spectacular. And terrifying. And wonderful.





Saturday, July 9, 2016

Allowing Change

One of the most important and useful skills one can gain in life is the ability to change (grow) in harmony with one's life situations. Allow dissonance to guide us to resolution. That is how the most beautiful music is written. Tension is built through extended harmonic modulations that create interest, but eventually resolve.


When being confronted with change, it can be helpful to remember that we're all teachers. When we encounter difficulties--uninvited change--we think, "how would I support my best friend, my brother, if they encountered this?" We then role model.

Today, when you face difficulty, ask yourself, "How would I support my best friend in this situation? Then be your own best friend.


Friday, July 8, 2016

Simplifying

Just over two years ago, John and I stumbled upon a chalet for sale in Canadian Lakes, Michigan. We were familiar with the area, as a colleague has a home near there and had hosted us for parties.

Canadian Lakes is a set of interlocking lakes sprinkled with chalets and other lake homes. Some homes are right on the water and others are a few minutes' walk away. Some are elegant and remarkably spacious and others more quaint. The one we found is in the middle. 

Marilyn, the owner had, along with her husband, Royal, built and enjoyed their chalet for many summers.  After they last packed up for the season--leaving everything as though they would come back the next summer--Royal died. Marilyn, now a widow decided to sell the chalet, fully furnished. We bought it for next to nothing, furnished and all.

We then entered a period of time where we looked forward to long weekends on Canadian Lakes, followed by the work week in Grand Rapids where we maintained our very large home. Over time, the balance between pool, lawn, and house in GR and deck, grill, and lake in Canadian Lakes became near impossible.

We simply had too much stuff.

So we sold the house in Grand Rapids. Well, it's pending.

We will downsize our possessions (look for an estate sale very soon) and reconcile our belongings so that we have what we need to live comfortably on Canadian Lakes. In two to three years, we will buy a simple condo in Grand Rapids.

We are pre-retiring.

We will continue to work (likely forever), but focus more on relationships and experiences and less on maintenance of stuff.