Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal

by Naomi Shihab Nye

“After learning my flight was detained 4 hours, I heard the announcement: ‘If anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic, please come to the gate immediately.’

“Well -- one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there. An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress, just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly.

“Help,” said the flight service person. “Talk to her. What is her problem? We told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she did this.”

“I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly. Shu dow-a, shu-biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick, sho bit se-wee?

The minute she heard any words she knew -- however poorly used - she stopped crying. She thought our flight had been cancelled entirely. She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the following day. I said no, no, we're fine, you'll get there, just late, who is picking you up? Let's call him and tell him. We called her son and I spoke with him in English.

“I told him I would stay with his mother till we got on the plane and would ride next to her -- Southwest. She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and found out of course they had ten shared friends. “Then I thought, just for the heck of it, why not call some Palestinian poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours. She was laughing a lot by then, telling me about her life. Answering questions.

“She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies -- little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts -- out of her bag -- and was offering them to all the women at the gate. To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California, the lovely woman from Laredo--we were all covered with the same powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies.

“And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers -- non-alcoholic -- and the two little girls waiting for our flight, one African-American, one Mexican-American -- ran around serving us all apple juice and lemonade and they were covered with powdered sugar, too.

“And I noticed my new best friend -- by now we were holding hands – had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing, with green furry leaves; such an old- country traveling tradition. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

“And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought, this is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in this gate -- once the crying of confusion stopped -- has seemed apprehensive about any other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too.

“This can still happen, anywhere. Not everything is lost.”

Do not cling to life; just let the moment be

now two old ladies sit peacefully knitting,
and their names are sometimes and always

"i can't understand what life could have seen in him" stitch
-counting always severely remarks;and her sister(suppress-
ing a yawn)counters "o i don't know;death's rather attractive"
—"attractive!why how can you say such a thing?when i think
of my poor dear husband"—"now don't be absurd:what i said was
'rather attractive',my dear;and you know very well that
never was very much more than attractive,never was

stunning"(a crash. Both jump)"good
heavens!" always exclaims "what
was that?"—"well here comes your daughter"
soothes sometimes;at which

death's pretty young wife enters;wringing her hands,and wailing
"that terrible child!"—"what"(sometimes and always together
cry)"now?"—"my doll:my beautiful doll;the very
first doll you gave me, mother(when i could scarcely
walk)with the eyes that opened and shut(you remember:
don't you,auntie;we called her love)and i've treasured
her all these years,and today i went through a closet
looking for something;and opened a box, and there she
lay:and when he saw her, he begged me to let him
hold her;just once:and i told him "mankind,be careful;
she's terribly fragile:don't break her,or mother'll be angry'"

and then(except for
the clicking of needles)there was silence

31 Ways for 31 Days. Coping with Holiday Stress

“When we come into the present, we begin to feel the life around us again, but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding. We must have the courage to face whatever is present / our pain, our desires, our grief, our loss, our secret hopes our love / everything that moves us most deeply.”

Jack Kornfield

To be healthy we should not avoid stress, but rather develop a friendlier relationship with it. Here are 31—one for each day of December—ideas or thoughts about how to build a relationship with stress.

1. Stress is a part of life. Today, give it a name, an identity. Let it know that it has a home, but not free reign. Set rules for stress. Make it a respectful friend. You don’t need to love it; just get along.

2. Throw off regrets. Stress often talks us into believing that life would be better if we had made different choices. Maybe so; maybe not. For now, you only have this moment. Put regrets into a box and out of the way. Embrace today.

3. Frankl said, “The last of the human freedoms is the freedom to choose our spirit in any circumstance.” He was right. Today, choose an uplifting, inspired spirit of living!

4. Remember the compassion within your heart. Take time to write a thank you note to someone just for being them. Surprise a friend with your love.

5. Learn something new today. A poem, a song; learn a dance step or a card trick. Stress is reduced when our minds rejoice in their ability to learn.

6. Be creative today. Paint, journal, blog, make angel wings in the snow. Make cookies.

7. Get physical. Exercise of any level helps blood move and awakens our senses. Do what you can—a little or a lot. Tap your fingers to music—anything. Love your body and its abilities.

8. Make a list of heroes and “she-roes.” Who in your life has made a difference? How did you grow because of your relationship with them? Were they a teacher? A member of the clergy? A co-worker? Maybe you have many! Write all of their names down and celebrate your relationships.

9. Feel. Stress often comes about due to our tendencies to shove difficult feelings aside. But feelings don’t go away. They might hide in your stomach, your neck and shoulders, your head. Feelings are a part of our life. Make friends with all of them. Say, “Hello, sadness. I see you’ve come by for a visit. What shall we talk about…well, it’s time for you to go now.”

10. Watch a comedy. Laughing releases all kinds of great endorphins, chemicals, and energy. Watch cartoons (the really good classic ones!). Or an episode of your favorite old sitcom like I Love Lucy or something.

11. Meditate, pray, or take a trip into nature. Remember that your life is part of an immense and wondrous world. Listen to your inner spirit; listen to your breath. Be quiet and still. Count snowflakes or pine trees or stars. Be thrilled at the world.

12. Let go of something that has led to stress. A memory of anger, hurt, or sadness. Write it a good-bye note and be done with it. Liberate yourself from one thing that has been lingering.

13. Clean a messy closet or junk drawer. Put something in order. Throw away useless papers or other items. Tidy up!

14. Donate something today. Your time, or a pie, or a loaf of homemade bread or cookies. Bring joy to someone’s life. Give someone a smile. Open the door for someone you don’t know.

15. Start a book or see a movie that you’ve been thinking about. It might be a book or film that you’ve seen before—a favorite—or you might take a gamble on something new. Make learning something new an adventure!

16. Write the title of your autobiography. What would the story of your life be called? Then outline the names of the book’s chapters. What would Chapter 1 be? Chapter 2? What Chapter are you in now? What will be next. It’s YOUR story, so make it anything you want it to be!

17. Read or write some holiday cards. By now you’ve probably received a few and sent a few. Who else should get one? Maybe the nice clerk at the grocery store? Or the mail delivery person? Which cards have you received that have special messages in them? Write a thank you note.

18. Call an old friend. Just say, “Hi! I was just thinking about you and wanted to say Happy Holidays!” Bring a conversation of joy to someone. Oftentimes, giving someone something relieves stress. Stress, our new friend, has to make room for our other friend, Generosity.

19. Go to the Grand Rapids Public Museum, Art Museum, Frederick Meijer Gardens, or some other place where you can see great art. Be blown away by creativity. Have fun; people watch!

20. Go to one of the malls and watch kids on Santa’s lap. Oh, the line and the fuss—and those faces. Watching children reminds us of how miraculous life is.

21. Set some goals. Maybe just one for today, maybe for the week or for the year. Remember that your life is a journey. Plan a route. All kinds of obstacles may come your way (that happens to everyone), but always have a plan!

22. Go through this list and journal about what you’ve done so far. How is your relationship with stress? Healthier? Worse? There’s always room to grow. We often want things to get better and better. But they don’t—they get better and worse, and better and worse. Our ability to be fascinated by unexpected things will get us through. Sometimes the best thing to do is smile and say, “Wow! I didn’t see that one coming!”

23. Remember the words of Walt Whitman, “I am larger and better than I thought. I did not think I held so much goodness.”

24. Kabir wrote,” Are you looking for the Holy One? I am in the next seat. My shoulder is against yours.” Today, recognize the beauty of the world, of spirituality in everyone. See yourself in a world of purpose and good intentions.

25. Think of all the people you love. Close your eyes and hear their laughter! Call them or email and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Think of all the people who love and appreciate you. Call or email them and thank them for their support. Embrace your world family. Try for at least one an hour!

26. Make a list of all things that have brought you joy throughout your life and up to this very minutes. Celebrate the miracle of your life.

27. Have a chat with your mind. Stress often comes about because we talk ourselves into believing the worst. But we can equally just notice the moment. It has been said, “The mind has no dignity. It will think anything. And then talk us into believing it!” Remind your mind that most things are alright.

28. Write thank you notes. For holiday gifts, or visits, or anything. I often find that taking stock of what I am grateful for takes longer than I planned! Set time aside to write simple, but heartfelt notes to those who have been kind to you.

29. Forgive someone today.

30. Come up with a list of common stressors. Rank them in order to the very big ones to the ones that are small, but irritating. If there are things that can be gotten rid of, then do that! But many of them may not go away so easily. Come up with a plan on how to live with them. Let them know that you will make room for them, but that they are not in control. Create your life.

31. Do nothing. Set time aside today to sit quietly and be amazed by December. Tomorrow is a new year!

Proportionality

It is wise to honor life's sequence of reality moments, much in the same way we conduct or play a piece of music. Attending to the complexity of rhythm, including giving careful attention to the rests so that they have their fully intended durations, their values.

Our breath, our reality becomes skewed and distorted when we hurry some passages, give into the temptation to repeat especially enjoyable or easily played passages, or skip yet-to-be-mastered sections.

Melody becomes disjunct, disjointed--a song interrupted. And then, in our panic and anxiety we lose harmony, blurring the tonalities with poor pedaling. The piece of music that is our breath huffs and puffs and loses its clarity.

But, like the pianist who stays centered and reflective, who pays attention to his breathing and disallows the momentarily bruised ego of a bad performance to draw him into a retreat of denial, we each can regain our rhythm. We can listen for the melody of life until our song is heard again.

Through practicing proportionality we can bring our harmonious being into full sonority.

Today, slow your pace, listen to your inner music, allow time for the rests; sing the song of this moment.

Overwhelmed

Briefcase stuffed too full
Everything is important
And so, nothing is

Reading Rilke

Immersed in Rilke
His words stir blue memories
Leaving me breathless

Choose to do no harm to any living creature

Destroying rainforest for economic gain is like burning a Renaissance painting to cook a meal.

E. O. Wilson

An expanded heart is an emotional garden...

It is not wise to ignore anger.

Anger is a complex emotion. It can be comprised of disappointment, hurt, fear, insecurity, judgment (toward self and or others), and shame. Each of these emotional planes is a moment, sometimes a series of moments in our lives when we face confusion. But, within confusion, and within this web of internal interrelatedness exists the desire to express an idea that is suppressed. Suppressed sometimes by our actions and occasionally by the actions of others. I think of this as collective karma...the consequences of a community that culminate in the experience of one.

We may feel isolated in our anger, or we might unite in anger. Either way, we benefit from being fully with our anger--naming its complex components and allowing space for each of them. It is within the space we allow that we may expand our heart.

An expanded heart is an emotional garden in which compassion may take seed and flourish.

Which of your abilities will you allow to lie dormant?

Which of your abilities will you allow to lie dormant? What talents will you let sleep, get fat and lazy; become memories of past hopes and dreams?

The experience of striving for the greatest level of accomplishment possible leaves our entire being stronger and better off than it was. Our physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual health is improved through the experience of taking on challenge.

What will you do today to be more fully alive?

Meditation

There is nothing more rewarding, nor challenging than sitting in the silence of nature.

Embracing our kinship

What is it that allows our goodwill to expand and our prejudice and anger to decrease? This is a significant question. Traditionally it is said that the root of aggression and suffering is ignorance. But what is it that we are ignoring? Entrenched in the tunnel vision of our personal concerns what we ignore is our kinship with others.

Pema Chodron

Strength is Everpresent

Yesterday I went out for an 8-mile run. After a summer of unrequited illness, my legs feel out of shape, and I'm 11 lbs overweight; my lungs are out of the habit of working hard. I began to think, though, that "I have done this before."


Strength is everpresent; it does not come and go. We all have moments when we are more in touch with our strength--physical, mental, emotional, social, or spiritual...or probably more accurately, the intertwinement of those. Our strength is sometimes challenged by fear, anxiety, doubt, or pain. But the strength is always there, we need only be confident.

Catch yourself today talking yourself out of your strength. The self-doubt, or fear, or whatever will not go away. Just allow it to be there. But equally, embrace all the strength that is within you and stay present in that reality.

Challenge of Being Present

The most difficult aspect of being in the moment is moderation. To not give way to have something more, something better, something different, something more intense, something that we believe would be more satisfying. Just taking what is and realizing that it is all; enough.

The Flow of Feelings

"As we become wiser we realize that fixing the flow of feelings doesn't work. Primary feelings are simply feelings, and every day consists of thousands of pleasant, painful, and neutral moments, for you, Condoleeza Rice, the Dalai Lama, Mick Jagger, and the Buddha alike. These feeling are not wrong or bad. They are the stream of life. Sylvia Boorstein, my colleague, writes, 'What a relief it was for me to go to my first meditation retreat and hear people who seemed quite happy speak the truth so clearly--the First Noble Truth that life is difficult and painful, just by its nature, not because we're doing it wrong.'"

From Jack Kornfield's, The Wise Heart

Miss Fawn Dreams

Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquillity and happiness we all seek.

The Dalai Lama

Recipe for Steve so that he can do something with all that squash

Squash & Tomato Bisque

From the Soup & Bread Country Inn Cookbook

3 – 4 tablespoons butter or mild vegetable, such as corn or peanut (I prefer peanut)
1 large onion, chopped
3 – 4 cups vegetable stock
1 28 oz. can whole tomatoes with their juices
1 tablespoon, very good maple syrup or honey
4 cups freshly made butternut squash puree
Salt to taste
A dash of cayenne pepper

1. In a Dutch oven, heat the oil over medium-low heat. Add the onion and sauté slowly, stirring often until limp but not brown, 6 – 7 minutes. Stir in 3 cups of stock, and let simmer, partially covered, about 15 minutes.
2. Pour the tomatoes with their juice into a food processor. Add the maple syrup or honey and puree. Add the squash and buzz again. Strain the stock, and add the strained-out onions to the processor. Buzz again.
3. Add the tomato-squash puree to the stock. Season with the salt. Reheat, and serve very hot, garnished with a dash of cayenne.

Fifth Annual Michigan Mindfulness Retreat

The Bluewater Community of Mindful Living is happy to announce our Fifth
Annual Michigan Mindfulness Retreat at Song of the Morning Yoga Retreat
Center in Vanderbilt, Michigan.

Come join us for five days of mindfulness practice
in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh.


Michigan Mindfulness Retreat
September 15,16,17,18,19 Wednesday to Sunday
Song of the Morning Yoga Retreat Center
Vanderbilt, Michigan
Mindfulness practice in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh
Sponsored by The Bluewater Community of Mindful Living

Come join us just for the weekend or for all five days.

Song of the Morning offers eight hundred acres on the banks of the
beautiful Pigeon River. Surrounded by thousands of acres of state
land, the retreat is deeply quiet and ideal for meditation.

The retreat begins on Wednesday afternoon and ends with a festive
dinner on Sunday at 1 PM. Come when you can and stay as long as you like.

There will be a regular schedule of meditation and other activities on
all five days.

We will enjoy sitting and walking meditation, the Five and the Fourteen
Mindfulness trainings, some silent meals, early morning walks to greet
the sunrise, yoga, dharma discussions and other activities.

* Vegetarian meals

* Clean and modern accommodations

* Only forty-five dollars a night plus tax for
a bed in the dormitory domes

* 15% discount for more than a three night stay

A few private rooms are available. Please see the Song of the Morning
website for more information about the accommodations:

http://www.goldenlotus.org

To reserve a private room please contact the office at Song of the Morning.

Students receive a 25% discount and there is plenty of room for tents
and campers. Camping is encouraged and is only thirty dollars a night
per person plus tax. Two or three "loaner" tents are available.

Reduced rates are available on a limited basis by work exchange for
those who can help in the kitchen. Please arrange this in advance with
the Song of the Morning office.

Song of the Morning is located nine miles east of I-75 in Vanderbilt,
Michigan, about a four hour drive from Detroit or Grand Rapids.

Please register for the retreat by emailing the office at the Song of
the Morning office: office@goldenlotus.org, or you can telephone them at
989-983-4107. The office is closed on Tuesdays.

We look forward to a wonderful retreat this fall. See you up north!

Sponsored by the Bluewater Community of Mindful Living
Port Huron, Michigan http://www.bluewaterbuddhist.org

Remembering Bear Pross

August 14, 1950 - July 20, 2010

These things are awkward you know, because we’re all going to be emotional in front of one another. Bear would say, “Well, you’ll just have to get over that.”

When Ellen asked me to speak I of course, said, “Yes.” But that was nearly two weeks ago and it was early this morning that I finally made myself sit down and put some words on paper. In my procrastination I found this passage:

“When sudden loss or trouble occurs, we feel shock and bewilderment. For so long we expected things to be as they have been, had taken this as much for granted as the air we breathe. And suddenly it is not so. Maybe tomorrow we will wake up to discover it was all just a temporary mistake, and that things are back to normal. After the shock passes, fear and despair arrive. We are anxious about our uncertain future, over which we have so little control. It’s easy to fall into the paralysis of despair, caroming back to our childish default position of feeling completely vulnerable and unprepared in a harsh and hostile world. This fearful feeling of self-diminishment may darken our view to such an extent that we find ourselves wondering whether we are worthwhile people, whether we’re capable of surviving in this tough world, whether we deserve to survive, whether our lives matter, whether there is any point in trying to do anything at all.”

So wrote Norman Fischer, an American Zen teacher.

My partner John and I have known Bear and David for nearly 20 years. We know each other so well, that it is actually difficult to know what we know.

As I was looking through photos I thought, “When was that vacation? Where did we have that meal? Where was that photo taken? What was that cat’s name? Which Christmas was that?”

Our experiences together blend in such a way that the essence—the love, laughter and impressions of our intermingled friendship—push details into the far background.
The details really don’t matter…what I am left with is the reality that Bear’s love, wit, charm, passion, fussiness, and sense of deep personal responsibility to the world are all, now, every bit as much a part of me as they were a part of him. And perhaps, you feel this way, too.

I think that’s what Bear intended.

Bear Pross was, and I think continues to be a great teacher. You could not be with Bear without learning something, without being changed.

The lessons he taught are everywhere. They are in the design of our home, where in every room I can find a photo of him, or David, or us, or some collection of cats that lived on Hillsdale…or a photo taken by Bear.

I have on our fireplace mantel a red ribbon—one of the thousands of ubiquitous red ribbons that Bear wore as long as I knew him. The red ribbon I have was a gift from Bear, a lesson packaged as a gift, really.

The note that came with the ribbon is a lesson on history, of his participation in a march on Washington DC in the 1980s.

The note, handwritten in that script that was so remarkably and unmistakably Bear’s, tells in one page of the passion, anger, fear, and intolerance that was so horribly present during the early years of the AIDS pandemic.

And of how this ribbon is a cutting of a larger ribbon used in the march.

Today, the world is a bit kinder, and we are all a bit healthier because of Bear’s participation, not only in that march, but because of the march he did everyday—through his neighborhood, through Lansing, through the halls of hundreds of hospitals, clinics, and training sites; through San Francisco, and Washington, DC. He also left evidence of his marches in our hearts.

Bear taught us to:
love everyone,
question everything,
leave everything better than we found it,
use profanity,
have manners,
and be polite (but not unnecessarily).

He taught us that a beautifully decorated Christmas tree had one primary purpose: that for at least three months the tree had to withstand the antics and explorations of numerous cats (some who were permanent residents and others who David snuck in). Oh, and that you needed as many Christmas trees as you had public rooms in your home (this is a tradition that we still uphold…profanity fills the halls of our home every year on the Friday after Thanksgiving when we start the process of installing numerous holiday trees).

He reminded us that wrapping a gift is an art—it required a glue gun, costume jewelry, yards of ribbon, and anything else that you might find while assembling the gift. Sometimes, the adornments on the gift were more remarkable than the gifts!

He taught us that one did not make a cheesecake—one allowed the ingredients to somehow miraculously emerge into the best dessert you could possibly imagine. And that the only whipped cream option had to be hand whisked in a cold copper bowl and should include a little liqueur.

He handed down his mother’s macaroni and cheese recipe to us—with all sorts of annotated instructions (“you can use any white cheddar, but the best is really Vermont or Wisconsin; top with sliced tomatoes or a pretty, veined cheese…”).

Bear also was a student of beauty…he noticed everything in detail. Flowers, food, children, décor, and of course men. (He would unabashedly ask any handsome man if he might take their photo. They might look taken aback, but I never saw any of them decline the invitation. Bear put them at ease and his charm and sincerity seemed to leave them feeling proud, just of being who they were).

He was overwhelmingly sincere. When he gave you a compliment, you wanted to thank him, because you knew he really meant it. And when he was critical, you knew he was right. He was impossible to disagree with.

Bear taught us that collecting Waterford is not extravagant—it is a basic necessity. The stairs and halls of the lovely home that he shares with David is a collection!

Oh, and that any book worth having was worth having two or three copies of.

When you left Bear and David’s, it was probable that you left with much more than you came with—a book, a photo, a cheesecake, crystal…and sometimes a cat.

David once (actually numerous time) invited us over to pick a kitten out to take home. He assured us that although the mother was feral, the 6-week old kittens were docile. Of course, they were under the porch or in some crevasse that required careful entry. Bear and I stood back in the driveway while David carefully coached John, whose hand was provided the protection of an oven mitt. David cooed at Mama Cat, assuring her that all was well and that we were good cat parents, while John tried to have faith in this disaster waiting to happen. Bear and I watched from afar. John finally offered his oven-mitted hand to the kittens, only to be met with Mama Cat’s teeth and at least 10 feral claws. John flailed waving Mama Cat back and forth. She was puffed up and hissy and had become an extension of his oven mitt. Mama Cat and John’s arm were finally parted. Bear and I laughed uncontrollably, which further upset John. Bear finally said, “Well, that went well.” David, seemingly having not noticed the entire thing said very quietly, “Well, let’s try one more time.”

Hunter S. Thompson wrote,
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

Bear did that—he lived life out loud, with passion, gusto, and no fear. We were all his students. Bear, we love you.

The Present Path

It's not nearly as important to choose the best path as it is to pick a path -- any path. It's vital to make solid decisions that take the positive and negative into account, but if you hesitate much, it all changes -- or the decision ends up getting made for you! Just take a breath and then face the direction that feels best to you. Looking back years from now, you'll be glad you did!

"...as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Maryanne Williamson

Warm Welcome to You!

Be quiet, look within and enjoy the healing power of silence. Let go of your sorrow and attachments. Your inner core and wisdom heart remain untouched either by insult or by praise. So have faith in your heart and trust yourself.

Sit free from fear and worries. Rely on your true and sincere heart for your meditation. Pay attention and concentrate on your breath. Let peace and happiness prevail and spread through you. Remember that your life is intimately connected with all other life.

May all beings benefit from your presence as a living embodiment of peace and happiness.

Venerable Samu Sunim

Meditation

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Allowing delusion to pass

Clarity can take our intellectual and emotional breath away. Sometimes when we see things just as they are we can be tempted to escape back into delusion, our place of familiarity.

Today, when life reveals itself, stay with it. That is being present; that is the Middle Way.

Authenticity

Buddhist practice is not about forcing ourselves to be natural. It is about being ourselves. When we take the vows of refuge, we are also pledging to find the refuge that exists within our own lives. This taking of refuge is not some kind of evasion or escape, but is the planting of our "selves" deeply in the nature of what surrounds us. We lodge ourselves in the deep waves and in the shallow pools, in the crests and depressions of our lives. Sometimes, even wreckage can make a temporary resting place. A person whose life is in tatters might have nothing much else left to do but relax and look at the pieces of what's left.

-Gary Thorp, "Shelter from the Storm" (Summer 2005)

Monday Metta

This morning, as a result of a friend's sudden illness, my stepfather's report of Father's Day, a couple of friendly hellos, and the grogginess of a typical Monday, the path gained clarity.

May 28: Getting to Barcelona

We arrived in Barcelona yesterday afternoon, but not without several adventures and misadventures along the way.

On Thursday morning, everything went swimmingly. We were packed, the house was in order, and we were given a perfect travel weather day. Evan picked us up on time, packed his small car (including John hoisting our largest bag onto his lap in the backseat) with our luggage, and drove John, Art, and me to the airport. Note: Evan couldn’t easily find his way out of our neighborhood, or to the only airport in town…I hope he made it back!

We leisurely awaited our flight from GRR to Atlanta…sipping really serious Bloody Marys and gobbling down Facebook and email in anticipation of not accessing technology for nearly two weeks.

Our flight boarded easily and on time and we soon were in Atlanta. Upon arrival we found all of the necessary information for connecting and went off to have our last State-side meal (which was atrocious and complimented with bad service, but, whatever). We then enjoyed time and too many glasses of wine in the Delta Club, where I also helped the hospitality by restocking the snack bar and sharing the recipe for a Midori Cocktail on behalf of an Asian man (who was ordering for his wife) to the lovely bartender.

Lightly lit and with great enthusiasm we headed to our flight terminal. Crowded, but calm, the terminal was abuzz with travelers. Soon after our arrival there the Delta representative (who, it turned out was evil) announced that the flight was oversold. We continued to chat and pace. After several announcements, the representative announced that Delta needed three passengers with flexible schedules to give up their seats and take a later flight. John was up and scurrying us to the counter as “we” decided to give up our seats (and ultimately sell our souls…). Dru, our more than helpful representative gave us food vouchers ($14.00 per person, as if you could buy more than a plate of cheese sticks and a beer at the airport on that budget), re-booked us and gave us each $800.00 in Delta Dollars for future travel. Still feeling as though we had won, we examined the tickets and discovered that we needed to be at the other end of Atlanta Hartsfield—no small feat—and in less than 40 minutes. So much for those free cheese sticks and beer. We hustled off to the train and arrived at Terminal T in time to board.

The 11-hour flight was challenging. I lost my vegetarian dinner request during our deal with the devil and had to hope for a pasta meal (which I did get). Crowded and understaffed (the pilot apologized often and profusely for being without one flight attendant who, it seems had been taken ill—leaving her cold behind for me to contract—which I did) the plane made its way across the ocean, to Copenhagen, our newly booked layover destination.

Just as one might picture Copenhagen, we landed in a gray mist at 9:30ish AM local time. We were haggard, disheveled, and exhausted. Shuffling into the airport, I discovered that I could not locate my passport. Trying to appear calm, so as to not alarm John (who had already left us and moved through international security), Art helped me rifle through Men’s Fitness, Food and Wine, Vanity Fair, books on Buddhism, nasal spray and everything else you could imagine I might consider “must haves,” but alas, we found no passport. I calmly, but purposely strode back to the plane and asked all the Danes in sight to help me find it.

“In what seat did you sit?”

“Row 17, I think.”

“We will check. You stay here.”

Smiling and wondrously blonde and high-cheek-boned, the security guy stood with me while several others went on to the Row 17.

“There is nothing there,” announced the gate attendant. “Are you sure it was Row 17? What is your last name?”

“Underhile, U-n-d-e-r-h-i-l-e,” I spelled.

After looking through his records he announced I was in 26E. Close enough.

He returned to the plane.

“No, nothing there, either.”

I made my way back to the terminal, glad to not be in a hurry for our connecting flight and wondering what the process would be like to replace my passport.

As I entered the terminal, Arthur stood to greet me, my passport in hand. It had been in my backpack the whole time, hiding in a crevasse between magazines, books, cough drops, sunglasses, and medications.

We made our way into the terminal and began to scout around for breakfast. At 9:30 AM in Copenhagen, everyone had a beer or glass of wine in front of them! More than a little tired, we found a small indoor bistro with typical Danish fare. John had an open-faced roast beef sandwich and French-pressed coffee. Art had water and French-pressed coffee, while I had a glass of Champagne and an open-faced cheese sandwich. The Dutch are thin and chiseled because they eat nothing hot, nothing cooked, and nothing processed.

The most amazing thing about the Copenhagen airport is its architecture. Austere, elegant, minimalist, and understated, the airport is absolutely calming…a much needed environment to gather our wits and wait for the connection to Barcelona!

Traveling to Europe on Vesak (Buddha Day)

The significance of Vesak lies with the Buddha and his universal peace message to mankind.

As we recall the Buddha and his Enlightenment, we are immediately reminded of the unique and most profound knowledge and insight which arose in him on the night of his Enlightenment. This coincided with three important events which took place, corresponding to the three watches or periods of the night.

During the first watch of the night, when his mind was calm, clear and purified, light arose in him, knowledge and insight arose. He saw his previous lives, at first one, then two, three up to five, then multiples of them .. . ten, twenty, thirty to fifty. Then 100, 1000 and so on.... As he went on with his practice, during the second watch of the night, he saw how beings die and are reborn, depending on their Karma, how they disappear and reappear from one form to another, from one plane of existence to another. Then during the final watch of the night, he saw the arising and cessation of all phenomena, mental and physical. He saw how things arose dependent on causes and conditions. This led him to perceive the arising and cessation of suffering and all forms of unsatisfactoriness paving the way for the eradication of all taints of cravings. With the complete cessation of craving, his mind was completely liberated. He attained to Full Enlightenment. The realisation dawned in him together with all psychic powers.

This wisdom and light that flashed and radiated under the historic Bodhi Tree at Buddha Gaya in the district of Bihar in Northern India, more than 2500 years ago, is of great significance to human destiny. It illuminated the way by which mankind could cross, from a world of superstition, or hatred and fear, to a new world of light, of true love and happiness.

The heart of the Teachings of the Buddha is contained in the teachings of the Four Noble Truths, namely,

The Noble Truth of Dukkha or suffering
The Origin or Cause of suffering
The End or Cessation of suffering
the Path which leads to the cessation of all sufferings

The First Noble Truth is the Truth of Dukkha which has been generally translated as 'suffering'. But the term Dukkha, which represents the Buddha's view of life and the world, has a deeper philosophical meaning. Birth, old age, sickness and death are universal. All beings are subject to this unsatisfactoriness. Separation from beloved ones and pleasant conditions, association with unpleasant persons and conditions, and not getting what one desires - these are also sources of suffering and unsatisfactoriness. The Buddha summarises Dukkha in what is known as the Five Grasping Aggregates.

Herein, lies the deeper philosophical meaning of Dukkha for it encompasses the whole state of being or existence.

Our life or the whole process of living is seen as a flux of energy comprising of the Five aggregates, namely the Aggregate of Form or the Physical process, Feeling, Perception, Mental Formation, and Consciousness. These are usually classified as mental and physical processes, which are constantly in a state of flux or change.

When we train our minds to observe the functioning of mental and physical processes we will realise the true nature of our lives. We will see how it is subject to change and unsatisfactoriness. And as such, there is no real substance or entity or Self which we can cling to as 'I', 'my' or 'mine'.

When we become aware of the unsatisfactory nature of life, we would naturally want to get out from such a state. It is at this point that we begin to seriously question ourselves about the meaning and purpose of life. This will lead us to seek the Truth with regards to the true nature of existence and the knowledge to overcome unsatisfactoriness.

From the Buddhist point of view, therefore, the purpose of life is to put an end to suffering and all other forms of unsatisfactoriness - to realise peace and real happiness. Such is the significance of the understanding and the realisation of the First Noble Truth.

The Second Noble Truth explains the Origin or Cause of suffering. Tanha or craving is the universal cause of suffering. It includes not only desire for sensual pleasures, wealth and power, but also attachment to ideas', views, opinions, concepts, and beliefs. It is the lust for flesh, the lust for continued existence (or eternalism) in the sensual realms of existence, as well as the realms of form and the formless realms. And there is also the lust and craving for non-existence (or nihilism). These are all different Forms of selfishness, desiring things for oneself, even at the expense of others.

Not realizing the true nature of one's Self, one clings to things which are impermanent, changeable and perishable. The failure to satisfy one's desires through these things; causes disappointment and suffering.

Craving is a powerful mental force present in all of us. It is the root cause of our sufferings. It is this craving which binds us in Samsara - the repeated cycle of birth and` death.

The Third Noble Truth points to the cessation of suffering. Where there is no craving, there is no becoming, no rebirth. Where there is no rebirth, there is no decay. no, old age, no death, hence no suffering. That is how suffering is ended, once and for all.

The Fourth Noble Truth explains the Path or the Way which leads to the cessation of suffering. It is called the Noble Eightfold Path.

The Noble Eightfold path avoids the extremes of self-indulgence on one hand and self-torture on the other. It consists of Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.

These path factors may be summarised into 3 stages of training, involving morality, mental culture and wisdom.

Morality or good conduct is the avoidance of evil or unwholesome actions -- actions which are tainted by greed, hatred and delusion; and the performance of the good or wholesome actions, - actions which are free from greed, hatred and delusion, but motivated by liberality, loving-kindness and wisdom.

The function of good conduct or moral restraint is to free one's mind from remorse (or guilty conscience). The mind that is free from remorse (or guilt) is naturally calm and tranquil, and ready for concentration with awareness.

The concentrated and cultured mind is a contemplative and analytical mind. It is capable of seeing cause and effect, and the true nature of existence, thus paving the way for wisdom and insight.

Wisdom in the Buddhist context, is the realisation of the fundamental truths of life, basically the Four Noble Truths. The understanding of the Four Noble Truths provide us with a proper sense of purpose and direction in life. They form the basis of problem-solving.

The message of the Buddha stands today as unaffected by time and the expansion of knowledge as when they were first enunciated.

No matter to what lengths increased scientific knowledge can extend man's mental horizon, there is room for the acceptance and assimilation for further discovery within -the framework of the teachings of the Buddha.

The teaching of the Buddha is open to all to see and judge for themselves. The universality of the teachings of the Buddha has led one of the world's greatest scientists, Albert Einstein to declare that 'if there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism'

The teaching of the Buddha became a great civilising force wherever it went. It appeals to reason and freedom of thought, recognising the dignity and potentiality of the human mind. It calls for equality, fraternity and understanding, exhorting its followers to avoid evil, to do good and to purify their minds.

Realising the transient nature of life and all worldly phenomena, the Buddha has advised us to work out our deliverance with heedfulness, as 'heedfulness is the path to the deathless'.

His clear and profound teachings on the cultivation of heedfulness otherwise known as Satipatthana or the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, is the path for the purification of beings - for the overcoming of sorrows and lamentation, for the destruction of all mental and physical sufferings, for the attainment of insight and knowledge and for the realisation of Nibbana. This has been verified by his disciples. It is therefore a path, a technique which may be verified by all irrespective of caste, colour or creed.

- Venerable Mahinda

Mediterranean Cruise: Packing Considerations

1. Air travel: two days—comfortable layers.
2. Athletic/fitness: Running shoes, athletic socks (3 pair), 3 running shorts, 3 running shirts.
3. Beach/pool: Swim shorts, deck sandals, cover up t-shirts, sunglasses; sunscreen; hat.
4. Casual: (Florence/Pisa; Capri), 2 pair Capri pants (e.g., cover “knees & shoulders”) 2 great shirts, hiking sandals, a baseball cap to protect against sun.
5. Jacket, Tie & Slacks events (i.e., Casino @ Monte Carlo): 1 Jacket, 2 business casual/khaki slacks, 2 long-sleeved shirts and 2 ties.
6. Respectful day tours (Rome): Sleeved/collared shirts, casual long pants, comfortable shoes.
7. Skivvies: 12 pair per person (if one chooses to wear)
8. Socks: At least 6 pairs of quality walking socks, 2 pairs of dress socks, 3 pairs of athletic socks per person, 2 pairs comfy socks that will go with sandals or running/tennis shoes.
9. Weather gear: Rain jacket, umbrella

Breathing

“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts.” Thich Nhat Hanh - So Breathe Deep!

Tuesday, May 18

I began the journey toward accomplishing some of the summer goals yesterday. A grueling spin class that was made enjoyable by Jeff's leadership. Still reeling from the all-day lawn work session on Sunday, the muscles ache! But, a bit of progress was made.

Last evening I worked just a bit on the Chopin Impromptu, which is predictably tricky, but not terribly difficult. The Scriabin Prelude--Op. 11, No. 1 is treacherous. Big sonorous waves of sound with few notes. But the notes that are there challenge the hands to stretch in his trademark intervals of perfect fourths and fifths.

Re-reading the Dhammapada: "He abused me, attached me, Defeated me, robbed me!" For those carrying on like this, Hatred does not end."

The Buddha reminds us that remaining in a mindset of victimization halts our ability to notice the wonder of the present. That accepting all things--good and challenging--are part of our path.

Goals for Summer, 2010

First, some fitness goals:
Run 5 5Ks, 5 10Ks, and the Metro Health Grand Rapids (Half) Marathon. I'm also joining RunGR. I have to drop about 12 lbs and work on proportionality.

Summer reading:
I've become increasingly interested in John Muir, so I will read at least one book of his collected essays. On the stacks right now are: Geography of Bliss, At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream, the Dhammapada (again), and Walden.

Summer music:
A nice set of Chopin, probably the "Harp" Etude, and the first Impromptu, Op. 29. Review and finish up the Scriabin set: Etude Op. 8, No. 5, Etude F#, Op. 8, No. 2, and the great Prelude in C major, Op. 11 No. 1. And finish with the Liszt, Les Jeux d'eaux a la Villa d'Este.

And one painting...probably of the interior of the Castillo San Cristóbal.

Kierkegaard wrote, "There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming." So, there's a good reminder!

How I finished the Fifth Third Riverbank Run 25K

I was recently asked how my race went. MUCH better than last year!

Last year I was a bit under-prepared and the weather was AWFUL! Windy, rainy, and cold. I crossed the finish(ed) line dazed, sore, and cold and said to John, "Never again!" But, when Gilda's Club called to ask if I would run again this year to raise money for them, I unhesitatingly said, "yes!"

I did a better job of preparing this year--more consistency and more patience. I also took ownership of my running abilities--choosing to run for pleasure rather than always trying to be faster. The article in RW about running and meditation was extremely helpful. I also picked up a copy of Run Less, Run Faster and began following some of those workouts. Tapering was, admittedly, a challenge. The week before the race I was anxious and wanted to run long. But I stayed on my plan and the morning of race day, I felt ready!

I ended up getting snookered into running with Team White Caps (only one guy, my buddy Ernie showed up), but I had access to the hospitality suite at DeVos Place, so that was cool, and I stayed warm and comfy until the race began. I was very meticulous in eating the right balance at the appointed hour, sipping water, blah, blah, blah. I also chomped down a few caffeine-laced Sports Beans, which, as it turns out are a diuretic!

So, I saw some good friends who were doing the 5K and 10K, had plenty of good pep talk going on, and made my way to the pacers (10:30 for me, so as to not start out too fast).

I immediately had to pee. I ignored that and the race began. Before I finished mile 1, I had to stop at the porta-John, which already had a line (of determined, but patient women). By the time I got in and out, the back of the pack (the guy with the POW flag!) was in front of me! But, I hustled back up, past the joy walkers, past the 12:30, the 12:00, the 11:30 pacers, all the way back up to my buddies in the 10:30 pace group. I was still feeling good (and relieved) so ran ahead.

The first 7ish miles are great, you know. Tree-lined path with the river. I was still feeling strong and keeping a comfortable pace (Kris, Rudy, and other friends would've been finished by now). As soon as we made the turn back toward GR, the path loses the tree cover and we're running exposed past the golf course. So, then it got cold. Not unbearable, but enough to be distracting. I was still good, though!

I made it just into town, when to my right I saw a co-worker, Steve. Many years ago he finished the Old Kent in 1:40 and some change. But he was right there with me. I said, "Hey, Steve!" He looked over, smiled and said, "This is hard!" I said, "Keep at it; we've only got three more miles!"

And I kept running.

I was still good, but tired by mile 15 on the bridge. People were cheering and that was great. We all turned left (north) onto Monroe--directly into 45 mile hour winds from the north. It was AWFUL! But we kept at it and I finished in 2:40. John was on the grassy knoll with the video camera and gave me a nice shout out. I told him that Steve was right behind me and John got his finish on camera, too. I turned back to cheer Steve on and he finished and gave me a big bear hug.

A long cold shower, followed by a trip to Rose's with onion rings and beer! And then, of course, a power nap.

And yes, I will absolutely run the RBR again next year!

Genuine Inspiration

Genuine inspiration is not particularly dramatic. It’s very ordinary. It comes from settling down in your environment and accepting situations as natural. Out of that you begin to realize that you can dance with them. So inspiration comes from acceptance rather than from having a sudden flash of good gimmick coming up in your mind. Natural inspiration is simply having something somewhere that you can relate with, so it has a sense of stableness and solidity. Inspiration has two parts: openness and clear vision, or in Sanskrit, shunyata and prajna. Both are based on the notion of original mind, traditionally known as buddha mind, which is blank, nonterritorial, noncompetitive, and open.

Chögyam Trungpa, excerpt from "One stroke". Chapter from True perception: the path of dharma art.

Gilda's Club and the Fifth Third River Bank Run

Friends,

As you may remember, last year I ran the River Bank Run to raise money for Gilda's Club of Grand Rapids. It was my first time running that race, the longest race I've ever ran. Windy, cold, rainy, and hilly, my first words after the finish were, "never again!" Both my mother and stepfather have endured cancer; my grandmother died of cancer just days after the race. Inspired by the great and very necessary work done at Gilda's Club, I have continued to volunteer there since last summer. A few weeks ago one of their staff asked if I would race again as part of their fundraising group. With more enthusiasm than common sense, I said, "yes."

And so now I turn to you and your friends, asking for a contribution. I am holding steady with training, getting in a little over 4 miles this morning. I'm a remarkably average runner, so having a dedicated purpose keeps me going. I'm not the fastest guy, but I'll finish!

If you choose to make a donation, you can click on this link to go directly to my web site:
http://www.active.com/donate/gildasclubgr2010/RunRicRun

And remember, there is still time for YOU to run the River Bank--the 5K, 10K, or to volunteer:
http://www.53riverbankrun.com/

Thanks!
Ric

Opening the Heart

When you think you cannot let the world in because it is so full of heartbreak, you underestimate yourself. You think, “I can’t let any more in,” because you feel like you are breaking apart. If you don’t follow that thought, can you simply allow your heart to let it all in? Not just the current disasters, but the disasters throughout time; not just the external disasters, but the internal disasters of your own life, your neighbor’s life, your friend’s life. Just really open the heart with no resistance.
That is the letting and the facing that I speak about. When you surrender to the pain, the heart does break, and there is profound grief. In the willingness for the heart to break, separation breaks also. Unless we resist or indulge it, the concept of separation disintegrates.
I am speaking of a very sober, still opening. I am suggesting that you just let it come in, and let it come in, and let it come in. Then there is a discovery that the heart breaks totally, forever open. This is possible for everyone. And all that keeps us from that is the thought, "I can’t do this."

Irish Jig, 2010

Appreciating Gloriousness

Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness -- life's painful aspect -- softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose--you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.

-- Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living

Contemplating Pain

Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote, "Go with the pain, let it take you...open your palms and your body to the pain. It comes in waves like a tide, and you must be open as a vessel lying on the beach, letting it fill you up and then, retreating, leaving you empty and clear...With a deep breath--it has to be as deep as the pain--one reaches a kind of inner freedom from pain, as though the pain were not your but your body's. The spirit lays the body on the alter."
As our lives, our moments offer us opportunity to be with difficulty, the constant temptation to move away from pain seduces us. We can enter into states of denial, creating illusions that our difficulties do not exist; we can give into distractions, like wine, lust, and career competitions; we can hide our fears with unnecessary expressions of power and ego.
Sometimes pain is our experience. When we retreat from it, we disconnect from our reality, falling into illusion.
Today, strive to be with all your experiences--those that are pleasant, and those that disorient. Whether on your run, when your lungs burn, your eyes fill with salty sweat, and your legs throb--or in the solitude of your fear--fear of aging, of disease, illness; or the fear of losing a loved one. Make meaning. Be present.

Part of Something Greater

"Our places give shelter. That is a given.

Focused only on ourselves, filled with possessions, trying
to impress others, they deny the unity of all.

Connection with the greater truths of otherness has far
greater import than minutiae of our lives.

Focus on ourselves is endless looking in a mirror, reading the same story, replaying the same tape.
There's more richness, new stories, adventures beyond the mirror. The truth of ourselves includes the selves on the outside of our skins, and inside other of our skins.

Bring those lives into your life."

Tom Bender

Mind, Body, and Spirit: Friendship

Our mind, body, and spirit work together, always and in every way. Just as body only becomes stronger when mind and spirit support that quest, so too does body become weak when our mind or spirit suffer. Only through the constant striving for limitlessness--in mind, body, and spirit--will we accomplish our best. To do this is to inspire--to instill friendship and goodwill in others.

Allowing less

One tires of living in the country, and moves to the city; one tires of one's native land, and travels abroad; one tires of Europe and goes to America, and so on; finally one indulges in the sentimental hope of endless journeyings from star to star. Or the movement is different but still extensive. One tires of porcelain dishes and eats on silver; one tires of silver and turns to gold; one burns half of Rome to get an idea of the burning of Troy. But this method defeats itself, it is plain endlessness.

My own method does not consist in such a change of field, but rather resembles the true rotation method in changing the crop and the mode of cultivation, rather than the field. Here we have the principle of limitation, the only saving principle in the world. The more you limit yourself, the more fertile you become in imagination. - Soren Kiekegard

"It’s a kind of a cheap shot that we go for constantly. We may not notice the subtle intelligence of the intangible, which is the binding factor that makes creation possible. The easy thing to do is to make the grand gesture that is noticed by everyone. But that is not necessarily where the real energy and wisdom manifests." (Alice Haspray)

Hagen, Chapter 10 Notes: The Warp & Woof of Reality

Once we accept dysfunction, take it in to be "normal," or alright, we live in illusion.

Nature is intentional, equanimous, interrelated. We are often at our most skilled when we choose to do nothing. It often takes great restraint and self-discipline to choose to not interfere with the cycle of life.

In our work places we can begin to notice the waterfall of problems that can be caused when we over-manage. Our discomfort with conflict and progress leads us to develop committees that slow decision-making often times about things that are inevitable. In my own workplace we find ourselves uncomfortable with the natural energy of students. We hurry them to be quiet, then wonder why they're not engaged. We then create committees to explore strategies to increase student engagement.

We grow when we act in accord with nature; the grass doesn't need to be told to grow.

Warm Welcome to You!

Be quiet, look within and enjoy the healing power of silence. Let go of your sorrow and attachments. Your inner core and wisdom heart remain untouched either by insult or by praise. So have faith in your heart and trust yourself.

Sit free from fear and worries. Rely on your true and sincere heart for your meditation. Pay attention and concentrate on your breath. Let peace and happiness prevail and spread through you. Remember that your life is intimately connected with all other life.

May all being benefit from your presence as a living embodiment of peace and happiness.

Venerable Samu Sunim

Looking without Seeing

I often notice my desire for things to be suddenly different is followed by the mental search for a solution, a plan or a program. We desire gyms to make us more fit, therapists to make us mentally well, diets to make us slimmer; the list goes on. But the primary path to anything is awareness.

Awareness of our internal and infinite strength swirls in the mingle of our most vulnerable weaknesses. Buddhism is the middle way; we coexist with everything and nothing. There is no peace, just as there is no chaos. There is only this, and this is now that.

The moment we look FOR something, we've allowed ourselves to look away from what is there. With eyes wide open, we can allow ourselves to see through delusion, to be with all thought, all knowledge, all images, and in pure darkness, knowing that true reality is fleeting. That is enlightenment.

It is useful to let go of the illusory need to see. We most benefit from looking without being held hostage by an expectation that we will see. Looking is enough.