Throughout my childhood and adolescence I was deeply sensitive and morose. In an effort to find a sense of centeredness, I became extremely active in music and church. Surrounded by fundamentalism I attended Pentescostal and Southern Baptist churches, finally committing to the Southern Baptist church where I excelled in church music.
While all of these activities distracted me in many pleasant ways, none of them left me feeling the sense of purpose I hoped for. Sometime around the age of 12 I began to read different philosophies...Sartre, Descartes, Kant, and others. Steeped in religion, philosophy, and classical music, I finally decided to actually read the Southern Baptist doctrine.
Realizing that little of it had meaning for me, I abandoned the Southern Baptist church and began to explore metaphysics...beginning to avidly pursue the ideas of Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science. Those principles made more sense to me--the power of being at one with God moment to moment. Concurrently, I began to read books about Zen Buddhism. Of course, this was the late 70s and so I read Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. A truer sense of who I am within existence began to more fully emerge.
Since then I have studied theology, religions, and spirituality. I do believe in Jesus, but do not believe in souls; I study the life of the Buddha, but do not worship him. I also respect that many Christians and people of other religions embrace the principles and lessons of Buddhism--Buddhism is not a religion, but rather a way of thinking about and making meaning of the world.
Below are some books that have been especially helpful to me.
Mark Epstein
Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart
Thoughts Without a Thinker: Psychotherapy from a Buddhist Perspective
Steve Hagen
Buddhism is Not What You Think: Finding Freedom Beyond Beliefs
Jack Kornfield
The Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology
Jack Maguire
Essential Buddhism: A Complete Guide to Beliefs and Practices
Diane Eshin Rizzetto
Waking Up to What You Do
