Suffering

Suffering

I listen, again, as believers,
one, two, and three, sing songs
of the end of pain, of happiness,
and of generous hearts.

Meanwhile, my own suffering,
so evident and open to sight,
lays on the table between us,
ignored, without response,
undignified, and beneath contempt.
As if the thing itself was
an inconvenience, an interruption
of joy, a nuisance which slows
them from reaching their spiritual goals.

And you ask me why I excuse myself,
leaving the invisible thing
in their midst, and closing
the door, to stroll away,
through the quiet lights of dawn.

- Jon Jackson

He came to sell me books

Would you like to buy some books?

I've plenty of books.
Thank you.

But these are life-changing books.
Here are some Dr. Seuss books.
And here is an entire set of children's encyclopedias. You receive one a month until you have the entire set.

Yes, I'll take those.
The Dr. Seuss books and the encyclopedias.
I will read them from cover to cover.
I'll know words. And see how rhymes and wit are created.
And how the world works.

I have more books for you to buy. These are text books. You have to have them. You could rent them, but I think it's better to buy them. That way you'll have them forever.

Yes. Yes, I should buy them. Space is tight on the shelf, but I'll find a place for them. How many are there?

Well, that's a hard question. Learning is a lifetime activity. You'll probably need to buy about 12 text books each year.

For how long?

For a very long time.

Is it a subscription?

Sort of. You can cancel at anytime. Well, not really at any time. But any time after the first eight years, although it is not advised.

Okay. Which ones should I buy first?

Oh, the reading books and arithmetic and science are the best books to start with. And later you can add books on social science, art, theatre, and music. You cannot have enough music books.

And so the books began to fill my life. Shelf after shelf became full. And then they appeared in stacks on my bedside table...and on the coffee table, and I began to buy more shelves, and they found their way into plastic storage bins. They were everywhere; they are everywhere.

The books became more complicated. He continued selling them to me.

Here are some categories of books that I suggest you consider:

• Adolescence: Why it is Important and How to Have Social Conflict, Inner Turmoil, and Daily Existential Crises at Least Hourly for Six-Eight Years (And Share with Others).
• Religion: How to Do What You're Told, Believe without Questioning, and Develop Expertise in the Cycle of Shame, Blame, and Forgiveness.
• Career: Determining Your Talents and Interests and then Comparing Those to What Will Bring You the Greatest Monetary Rewards.
• Higher Education: Why the Joy of Learning Will Always Be Greater than the Number of Opportunities to Share Knowledge.
• Relationships: Surviving on the Continuum of Family, Friends, Lovers, and Co-Workers--Why Being Genuine and Honest Rarely Pay Off.
• Recreation: How to Determine What is Best for You and Then Struggle to Fit It In to Your Daily Existence (Without Pissing Everyone Off).
• Aging: Conquering the Myths.

I have books.

Well, by this stage of my life, I think I've read nearly all of these. Some were very helpful. But many left me feeling empty, confused, or as though I just wasn't getting it.

Thank you for the books. I will continue reading some of these and others. But I think I have to put some of the books down to make time for living. For getting out and learning by doing. It's been helpful to learn from what others write about. I've read those books, marked passages, written reflections, and completed end-of-the-chapter exercises and activities. I've even encouraged others to read these books.

I even give books as gifts.

But now I need to pay attention to me, and the world, and other people.

Would you like to buy some books?

Say It

"I'm Free"

Do you see what I see
A rainbow shining over us
In the middle of a hopeless storm
Sometimes I'm blinded by my feelings
And I can't see beyond my troubled mind
Afraid of what I'll find
The story of our lives
But there's tomorrow.

Cause I'm free, I'm free
And things are only as important

As I want them to be
We'll have a breath of sunshine
When the rain goes away
I pray, I pray.

Do you need a friend right now?
In the road that you're going to
If you get lost just call me I'll be there
Yes I'll be right there
Cause though I may not have the answer
At least I know what I'm looking for.

Yes I can do without sorrow
There's a day after tomorrow
So I'm leaving behind.

I'm free, I'm free
And things are only as important

As I want them to be
We'll have a breath of sunshine
When the rain goes away
I pray, I pray.

And if you want to share my dreams
Well all you have to do is say it, say it
Let me hear you loud and clear
Cause I need you if you wanna be, if you wanna be.

Do you see what I see
A rainbow shining over us
In the middle of a hopeless storm
We'll be safe and warm.

Camping Lessons

One of my goals for this year was to go camping--something that I've never done as an adult. John Muir wrote, “Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity...”

That's so true.

After just a short three-and-a-half day camping trip I learned some things:

1. Shorts and a t-shirt are the most any man should wear, especially during Michigan's summers.
2. A fishing hat comes in handy to protect against sun, but count on looking ridiculous.
3. Avoid mirrors (see #2).
4. A clean camper is a happy camper.
5. Showering outdoors is heaven.
6. It is never too early for a good cold beer, especially if it is from Founders Brewing Company.
7. Camping is no excuse for bad food. We had nachos, frittata, steak kabobs (even me, the vegetarian!--and they were delicious), upside down pineapple doughnuts (that were beyond delicious), and Guinness Cakes. And cava, of course.
8. I've never been in a kayak, but after 10-minutes of expert instruction, I made it all the way across Pentwater Lake--and was greeted with cheers, a bag of Sun Chips, and a cold one.
9. If a fat man on a scooter falls over, stop and help him up.
10. If you're given the keys to a 5-speed Ford-150 on a dirt path, drive it like you own it.
11. Coleman Biowipes are perhaps one of the most useful inventions ever.
12. The most important thoughts and conversations you might have are most likely to happen in the utter blackness of night in a forest with only the sounds of crickets.
13. Muir was right. Wilderness is a necessity.

Lessons

I would much rather be with those who openly express their feelings, including fear, pain, and hurt rather than those who seem as though they have such strength that they are exempt from the  realities of life. Authenticity includes the skillful ability to be fully present with all feelings, not just those that society has deemed alright.

It is as important to be able to accept an apology as it is to be able to offer one.

Every day the earth shakes a little bit...sometimes it's gentle, other times there are jolts. This dynamic will not change. We can only strive to have steady footing during the shaking.

The ability of our closest friends to awaken us to our sense of centeredness cannot be appreciated enough. To be with friends in all of our collective complexity is beautiful and voluptious...lusty.

Water & Rice

A “motherly heart” is a heart which maintains the Three Jewels as a parent cares for a child. A parent raises a child with deep love, regardless of poverty or difficulties. Their hearts cannot be understood by another; only a parent can understand it. A parent protects their child from heat or cold before worrying about whether they themselves are hot or cold. This kind of care can only be understood by those who have given rise to it and realized only by those who practice it. This, brought to its fullest, is how you must care for water and rice, as though they were your own children.

Crustless Spinach Quiche

My good friends, Jeff and Tish have a just-a-tad-more-than-two-years-old grandson whom they often entertain. Yesterday I made a quiche and at the last minute decided to double it, thinking that Jeff and Tish might like it. This morning Tish sent a photo of Gabe having it for breakfast! 

Oh, and it's crustless, which makes it even easier.

Here's the recipe:

1. Thaw a 10 oz package of frozen chopped spinach and let drain.
2. Preheat oven to 350.
3. Spray a 9" pie pan (metal or glass) with Pam.
4. Chop a medium to large sized onion.
5. Add about 1 tblsp olive oil to a medium sized sauté pan.
6. Saute the onion for about 6 minutes--just until it is soft, but not browned.
7. While the onion is sautéing, beat 5 eggs in a large bowl.
8. Add 3 cups shredded cheese to the beaten eggs (I use packaged swiss, but you could use mozzarella, a blend of Italian cheeses...whatever you like or have on hand. I tend to stay away from cheddar, since it has more fat and oil than I like).
9. Blend the eggs and cheese well.
10. Add the drained spinach to the onion and sauté just long enough for the remaining moisture to mostly steam off.
11. You don't have to, but I add about 1/8 cup vermouth to the spinach and onion, as well as a little salt, a lot of pepper, and whatever herbs I have around--thyme, oregano, whatever you like.
12. Once the spinach, onion and herb mixture have finished, take them off the heat and let them cool just a bit. At the same time, let the eggs and cheese come up to nearly room temperature.
13. You're going to add the spinach mixture to the eggs and cheese and so it's important to not add hot to cold--lest you scramble the eggs.

I usually have a beer or whiskey slush to let the time pass.

Then, once the temperature of everything is pretty good, fold the spinach mixture into the eggs and cheese.

Pour everything into the pie pan and place into the oven for about 35 minutes. If the top is not quite as golden as you like, crank up the broiler and watch the quiche closely for 1-2 minutes.

Take out of the oven and let set for at least 5 minutes.

Serve hot or let it cool down--it's great either way.

I serve it with a salad and a nice sparkling wine, like Cava or Prosecco.