18 Ways to Put Stress in its Place

In the arms of friendship, stress is forgotten.

1.     Remember the compassion within your heart. Take time to write a thank you note to someone just for being them. Surprise a friend with your friendship.

2.     Learn something new today. A poem, a song; learn a dance step or a card trick. Stress is reduced when our minds rejoice in their ability to learn.

3.     Be creative today. Paint, journal, blog, plant something. Make a sandwich.

4.     Get physical. Exercise of any level helps blood move and awakens our senses. Do what you can—a little or a lot. Tap your fingers to music—anything. Love your body and its abilities.

5.     Make a list of heroes. Who in your life has made a difference? How did you grow because of your relationship with them? Were they a teacher? A member of the clergy? A co-worker? Maybe you have many! Write all of their names down and celebrate your relationships.

6.     Feel. Stress often comes about due to our tendencies to shove difficult feelings aside. But feelings don’t go away. They might hide in your stomach, your neck and shoulders, your head. Feelings are a part of our life. Make friends with all of them. Say, “Hello, sadness. I see you’ve come by for a visit. What shall we talk about…well, it’s time for you to go now.”

7.     Watch a comedy. Laughing releases all kinds of great endorphins, chemicals, and energy. Watch cartoons (the really good classic ones!). Or an episode of your favorite old sitcom like Seinfeld or something.

8.     Meditate, pray, or take a trip into nature. Remember that your life is part of an immense and wondrous world. Listen to your inner spirit; listen to your breath. Be quiet and still. Count ants or pine trees or stars. Be thrilled at the world.

9.     Let go of something that has led to stress. A memory of anger, hurt, or sadness. Write it a good-bye note and be done with it. Liberate yourself from one thing that has been lingering.

10.  Clean a messy garage or junk drawer. Put something in order. Throw away useless papers or other items. Tidy up!

11.  Donate something today. Your time, or ability to fix a bike or make chili. Bring joy to someone’s life. Give someone a smile. Open the door for someone you don’t know.

12.  Start a book or see a movie that you’ve been thinking about. It might be a book or film that you’ve seen before—a favorite—or you might take a gamble on something new. Make learning something new an adventure!

13.  Write the title of your autobiography. What would the story of your life be called? Then outline the names of the book’s chapters. What would Chapter 1 be? Chapter 2? What Chapter are you in now? What will be next? It’s YOUR story, so make it anything you want it to be!

14.  Read or write some long overdue greeting cards. Write a thank you note.

15.  Call an old friend. Just say, “Hi! I was just thinking about you.” Bring a conversation of friendship to someone. Oftentimes, giving someone something relieves stress. Stress, our new friend, has to make room for our other friend, Generosity.

16.  Go to the Grand Rapids Public Museum, Art Museum, Frederick Meijer Gardens, or some other place where you can see great art. Be blown away by creativity. Have fun; people watch!

17.  Go to one of the malls  or a park and watch kids play.  Watching children reminds us of how miraculous life is.

18.  Set some goals. Maybe just one for today, maybe for the week or for the year. Remember that your life is a journey. Plan a route. All kinds of obstacles may come your way (that happens to everyone), but always have a plan!

December 3 De-Stressor

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Victor Frankl said, “The last of the human freedoms is the freedom to choose our spirit in any circumstance.” He was right.

Today, choose an uplifting, inspired spirit of living!

Making friends with stress

  

I often am asked to give talks on stress management. A few years ago I began to provide a handout that listed stress busters for each day of the month. 

I find December to be especially stressful--holidays, too much junk food, managing money, the skies turn gray...even with the very much appreciated merriment of friends and tinsel, I really have to take time to be in touch with my stress and make friends with it.

Here are two de-stressers, one for December 1 and the other for December 2. Look for one a day throughout the whole month!

December 1: Stress is a part of life. Today, give it a name, an identity. Let it know that it has a home, but not free reign. Set rules for stress. Make it a respectful friend. You don’t need to love it; just get along.

December 2: Throw off regrets. Stress often talks us into believing that life would be better if we had made different choices. Maybe so; maybe not. For now, you only have this moment. Put regrets into a box and out of the way. Embrace today.

Is this not enough?

This photo was actually taken by my friend, Art. We were at Ravinia last weekend to see and hear Jennifer Hudson, who was amazing!

Lately I've been inspired by the metaphor of "dancing." It all began with a spontaneous urge at a Pink Martini concert, then Jennifer Hudson at Ravinia, and yesterday I remembered Matt Alber's perfect video of End of the World.

I also often think of dancing while I'm running...rhythm, staying in step with my running buddy or our small (but mighty!) group of early morning runners.

This morning I chose some music at random and up popped DMB's terrific song, Pig.


Oh, isn't it strange
How we move our lives for another day?
Like skipping a beat
What if a great wave should wash us all away?
Just thinking out loud
Don't mean to dwell on this dying thing
But look at my blood
It's alive right now,
And deep and sweet within
Pouring through our veins
Intoxicate moving wine to tears
And drinking it deep
Then an evening spent dancing
It's you and me...

This love will open our world
From the dark side we can see a glow of something bright
Oh, there's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away

Is this not enough?
This blessed sip of life,
Is it not enough?
Staring down at the ground
Oh, then complain and pray for more from above,
You greedy little pig
Stop, just watch your world trickle away
Oh, it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years

Just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope back in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Oh, so don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Come sister, my brother
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone

Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There's bad times
But that's okay
Just look for love in it

And don't burn the day away...

Look, here are we
On this starry night, staring into space
And I must say
I feel as small as dust lying down here

What point could there be troubling?
Head down wondering what will become of me?
Why concern "WHAT" we cannot see
But no reason to abandon it
The time is short but that's all right
Maybe I'll go in the middle of the night
Take your hands from your eyes, my love
All good things must come to an end some time
But don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away...

Come sister, my brother
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come flooding in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone

Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There're bad times
But that's okay
Just look for love in it

Challenge of Being Present

The most difficult aspect of being in the moment is moderation. To not give way to have something more, something better, something different, something more intense, something that we believe would be more satisfying. Just taking what is and realizing that it is all; enough.

Authenticity

Buddhist practice is not about forcing ourselves to be natural. It is about being ourselves. When we take the vows of refuge, we are also pledging to find the refuge that exists within our own lives. This taking of refuge is not some kind of evasion or escape, but is the planting of our "selves" deeply in the nature of what surrounds us. We lodge ourselves in the deep waves and in the shallow pools, in the crests and depressions of our lives. Sometimes, even wreckage can make a temporary resting place. A person whose life is in tatters might have nothing much else left to do but relax and look at the pieces of what's left.

-Gary Thorp, "Shelter from the Storm" (Summer 2005)

Mind, Body, and Spirit: Friendship

Our mind, body, and spirit work together, always and in every way. Just as body only becomes stronger when mind and spirit support that quest, so too does body become weak when our mind or spirit suffer. Only through the constant striving for limitlessness--in mind, body, and spirit--will we accomplish our best. To do this is to inspire--to instill friendship and goodwill in others.

Hagen, Chapter 10 Notes: The Warp & Woof of Reality

Once we accept dysfunction, take it in to be "normal," or alright, we live in illusion.

Nature is intentional, equanimous, interrelated. We are often at our most skilled when we choose to do nothing. It often takes great restraint and self-discipline to choose to not interfere with the cycle of life.

In our work places we can begin to notice the waterfall of problems that can be caused when we over-manage. Our discomfort with conflict and progress leads us to develop committees that slow decision-making often times about things that are inevitable. In my own workplace we find ourselves uncomfortable with the natural energy of students. We hurry them to be quiet, then wonder why they're not engaged. We then create committees to explore strategies to increase student engagement.

We grow when we act in accord with nature; the grass doesn't need to be told to grow.